Saturday, January 22, 2011

Do less

We started the new year with N, my husband, fuming about how December went and complaining that we needed to do less. Or that's how I read it. December really wasn't all that bad. My brother visited for 2 days; we had N's company party to attend, and a cousin of mine came for a week from Christmas eve to New Year's eve. Socially, December wasn't much of anything. Granted the first two weeks I spent running my feet off taking care of our toddler and my post-operative mother-in-law. And then there was the impromptu pizza party at a neighbor's house on a Friday evening. We kind of let Christmas sneak up on us gift-wise, so there was a lot of last-minute head scratching, Amazon buying, and post-officing. And there was that baking stuff for the neighbors. So maybe December was a bit fuller than I thought. And to drive the message home January started off with a bang and not of the good variety. So at this point, I'm a believer. I am on N's side; 2011's theme so far is "Do less."

So far we've said no to all the birthday parties we've been invited to. I've promised N that I will tell anyone who wants to fly in to visit us to postpone their trip. We have a number of visitors already in the books. L's godmother in February, my family in May, my in-laws in the winter. Our second child arrives, as a hopefully permanent family fixture, in April. So we've got a number of good reasons to give people for visiting another time.

Our church is having a women's retreat in early Feb and a larger, longer family retreat in early April--yes, right before the baby is due. We're planning on prioritizing those which means we'll probably try to keep the remaining weekends pretty clear of "events".

Three weeks into this new year of "doing less", I'm observing first, that our ordinary life actually takes a fair amount of work and has a lot of moving parts. There's simply quite a bit to do even without "adding stuff". I put that in quotes because I realize for some people with different personalities than ours the "added stuff" is ordinary life. Spontaneous is good!! We're routine type people and events really knock us back. The second observation I have is that I'm still seeing God insert key relationships in our lives.

We keep a white board as an attempt to organize our life. On it I put a drawing of our block and the names of the people we've met and are praying for. There's been a family katy-corner from us that I sort of met months ago but haven't been able to get to know. Just this week, I've gotten to chat with the mom twice. Her sons are 3 and 5. We've been able to connect over having kids and talked about what having 2 kids is like. She has a research background and works at the university, so we've connected there. These times have been just what I've wanted and have been beautifully woven into our ordinary life. They haven't felt like an event or a doing, just crossing the street to let our kids play together or crossing the street to chat neighbors with neighbors. If "doing less" means more of that, count me in.

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