Harshin' my mellow

One thing I've been pondering lately is why I don't always obey God, aka "Do the right thing."

And when it comes down to it, in that moment, I believe my way is better or my way is the only way I know how to do.

The big thing right now is not yelling at my kids. I think there's a ton of insight in the Bible on why I should not yell at my kids. We'll start with the verse I work with my daughter on "Be kind, one to another, tenderhearted forgiving one another even as Christ has forgiven you." (Ephesians 4:32)

So I know that verse and many others, but I still regularly lose my temper with my kids. What's wrong with me?

In my devotional time this morning I read,

The fear of the Lord is pure, enduring forever.The ordinances of the Lord are sure and altogether righteous.They are more precious than gold, than much pure gold;they are sweeter than honey, than honey from the comb.By them is your servant warned; in keeping them there is great reward. 

~Psalm 19:9-11

When I first read this, I wanted to jump up and point it out to my daughter:
See! We're not harshin' your mellow. Obeying your parents as God has instructed you to do, that's gold, that's honey, that's reward. 

(Seriously, she bawls like we killed her fictional, pet kitten and served it to her for dinner. It's ridiculous)

But then, I realized this is ME. I think that God is harshin' MY mellow, that giving up my right to anger at my kids or at whomever will hurt me in someway. No, I've got to explode. I deserve to explode. Can't you see how bad he/she was to me?

But that's not true. And it's not a little bit untrue, it's completely untrue. Angry outbursts never solve my problem and any satisfaction I get from them are so fleeting and never worth the cost.

Keeping the laws of God: gold, honey, reward. Value, sweetness, true recompense.

God, help me to see how flimsy my "mellow" is, like dust in the mouth. Let me see your guidance as gold, honey, & reward.