A new Advent traditions?

This year we pretty much finished our serious Christmas shopping before Advent! Last year we were caught unawares, as if Christmas isn't December 25th every year, and were rushed and harried feeling. So we probably swung "too far" on the pendulum, but really, I like it a lot.

There are a few miscellaneous items we haven't picked up or boxed to send, but all the thinking is over. We've purchased or made things. We've used Amazon a lot which made shipping easier, and I really dislike browsing stores so avoiding that is good too.

While part of me enjoys the gift giving part itself, I really dislike the bombardment of messages to buy stuff for people. So with the shopping done, I can just ignore all the ads. Does not apply to me. I don''t need to wonder if so-and-so might REALLY like that whatsitmahoozer. Even if they did, too bad!!

And of course, being done before Advent means that I have more head space for other stuff. This week, it's been tending to two pretty sick kids. Grueling work. But they should be on the mend soon.

For the first time, we're putting up a Jesse Tree which is a Catholic tradition that I was not raised with. The Jesse Tree is a tree that is decorated with symbols recalling the fuller story of Christmas. It starts with God forming the universe and people, the break in relationships with people and the promise for full restoration, then it moves through major stories of the Old Testament before telling the New Testament story of Jesus birth. We're using a children's book by the same name and reading a story a day. I recycled our 2 ft tree from our apartment days, and we're making a felt ornament that corresponds with the symbol for the day. I'd much rather be doing this through Advent then worrying about what gifts to have for whom and how to get it to them.

So we'll see if we can make these new traditions: Christmas gifts in November, Jesse Tree decorating in December.

Weakness as gift

My mom is visiting her mom after having spent 5 weeks with us as we welcomed baby DW into our lives. So this week is the first time we've been left truly alone with our kiddos. One thing I've enjoyed is all the cuddle time with both my children. L, who has always been very independent, has wanted and enjoyed hugs and kisses more in this time of transition. And DW just patently prefers being held to pretty much anything else at this point. And I'm happy to accommodate.

But I was thinking back to my early 20s when I did a fair amount of living overseas for months at a time. This was pre-skype, pre-convenient email. And I suffered from intense bouts of loneliness. It did not help that I traveled to countries with little sunlight and lots of foul weather. During one of those trips, I read the book Five Love Languages. This book proposes that different people have different love languages and if you try to "speak" a language that another doesn't understand, they won't see your actions as love. The "languages" were quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, physical touch and receiving gifts. Quality time and physical touch resonated with me as languages I understood.

But there I was, on some distant continent, far from people I cared about and I wanted to throw a bat through a window. It seemed extremely unfair to have physical touch be a love language when I was extremely single. At the time, I had never dated anyone and would not have known how even if the opportunity presented itself to me. And then there was the whole deal about how God designed sex for marriage and man, if dating felt far off for me, marriage really felt far off. Basically, I felt cursed to have an empty love tank. Ultimately, living a healthy life in my body would be a struggle the rest of my singleness. It was something I managed by God's grace--I took up more athletic endeavors in my mid-20s--with alternating bouts of peace and torment.

Now, I'm writing this as my newborn sleeps in my lap. Those days seem very far off. As the mother of young ones, I'm constantly touching and being touched. Books sometimes warn parents that moms can be worn out from constant touching and want alone time away from her husband. Maybe it will come to that someday, but that day certainly hasn't come yet for me. I love the sweetness of our current phase. My daughter will sit in my lap and rest her head on me while describing the most mundane realities of life. "Daddy blue eyes,""Baby DW sleeping,""Red bowl,""Blue shirt,""Stacky blocks all-fall-down." My son loves being held and petted. I could do without the wailing parts, but really the rest is great.

What once seemed like a curse has now become a gift. I have hugs for my kids all day and when my husband gets home I've got plenty more snuggles left for him too.