Chicken and Ashes

Ash Wednesday Collect
Almighty and everlasting God,
you hate nothing you have made
and forgive the sins of all who are penitent:
Create and make in us new and contrite hearts,
that we, worthily lamenting our sins
and acknowledging our wretchedness,
may obtain of you, the God of all mercy,
perfect remission and forgiveness;
through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns
with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.
~1979 Book of Common Prayer

Today begins the season of Lent, a time of fasting and mourning our sins as we look forward to celebrating the work of Jesus on the cross on Easter morning.

I was worried that the last post sounded too final, like I had arrived and figured things out. In his second recorded letter to believers in Corinthians, Paul writes to them about giving and calls it the "grace of giving". I need our annual giving tally, I need to list the recipients of these gifts because I need to be able to see that kind of grace in my life.

My dead heart is a hoarder. I have never worried about having food to eat or a roof over my head, but I do find myself running through what ifs. Having a giant pile of cash stashed in the bank makes me feel better, like I'm the master of my own universe. I do think that stewarding our money well by planning and saving is a good idea. But giving presses me into God reminding me that every good and perfect gift comes from him, reminding me that I am NOT the master of my own universe.

In my life, frugal choices have to be balanced with generosity because otherwise I'm just pretending I've got my world under control. When I see the tally of our giving and I experience the sting of "but I could've done X" with that money, I have the opportunity to remember that God has blessed us with abundance now, that my future "security" is not something I craft out of dollars in the bank, and that I have been invited to participate in God's greater work in the world.

Anyways, all that for 89 cent chicken, huh. Well, the start of Lent seems to be an appropriate time to remember and repent of the many ways that I am wretched and money is certainly one of those ways.