Hope deferred

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. ~Proverbs 13:12

We appear to be turning a significant household corner. Our son appears to be ready to sleep through the night and our daughter appears to be ready to wear regular underwear and use the toilet on her own. It's only been 3 days so far, but man are we ready for both of those breakthroughs.

We're a couple months shy of our 6th wedding anniversary and if I had to sum up year 6, at this point, I'd say grueling. We are so tired. We never thought either of these milestones could take so long for our kids.

At the same time, I think I have finally made peace with becoming a mom and have been able to enjoy the deep sweetness in it. The pleasure and satisfaction of parenthood is very difficult for me to express. I have never identified with and never liked what I considered to be saccharine, pastel renditions of mother-child relationships.

The best metaphor for a mom-moment is a memory I have of a summer in college when I worked in maintenance at a conference center. I had spent the whole day outside in the dust and dirt. I was tired and sticky. And somehow I got back to the showers first and had the whole place to myself. As the drops of hot water hit my arms, I was fascinated to watch little rivulets cut through the layer of grime.

That refreshment after a long day of physical labor is the best I can do to explain what it feels like today to see our children growing up and hitting milestones we have been hoping and praying for these past months.